R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
