actually, I'm a sock model
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
