The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
