Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
