i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
