Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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