There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
