I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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