so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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