so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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