There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
