i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
