You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
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Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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