This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
