I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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