i think my mom watched the whole time
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize