my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
