My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
