Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Who said anything about talking that was a booty call

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(626): View more from California

and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.

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(562): View more from California

Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.

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(912): View more from Georgia

then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.

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(773): View more from Illinois

When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger

(708): View more from Illinois

You are the reason we need health care reform

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(510): View more from California

i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it

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