Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I look better un-naked...

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  (870): I look better un-naked... http://tfl.nu/umxx
  Replies (10) Good night (789) Bad night (3666)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"

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  (905): I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me" http://tfl.nu/rxcz
  Replies (15) Good night (1018) Bad night (2456)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.

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  (919): you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt. http://tfl.nu/2jv4
  Replies (10) Good night (7063) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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  (312): Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight? http://tfl.nu/82ga
  Replies (3) Good night (1474) Bad night (1630)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  The gym has a pool

  (914): View more from New York

  my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

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  (718): The gym has a pool (914): my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high" http://tfl.nu/pnez
  Replies (4) Good night (3331) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.

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  (484): I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS. http://tfl.nu/nces
  Replies (5) Good night (2416) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter

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  (336): i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter http://tfl.nu/ntue
  Replies (7) Good night (2701) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.

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  (215): He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that. http://tfl.nu/u001
  Replies (12) Good night (2124) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

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  (+44): It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over. http://tfl.nu/6ffz
  Replies (7) Good night (755) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm pregnant.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???

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  (407): I'm pregnant. (1-407): The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number??? http://tfl.nu/ivb7
  Replies (17) Good night (1814) Bad night (2486)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am

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  (229): I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am http://tfl.nu/ozx4
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in

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  (484): he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in http://tfl.nu/1zjs
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate

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  (617): I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate http://tfl.nu/7ugk
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm

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  (630): the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm http://tfl.nu/tyw9
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)

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  (310): Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:) http://tfl.nu/5k85
  Replies (0) Good night (141) Bad night (239)

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