Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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  (845): oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call. http://tfl.nu/l86s
  Replies (13) Good night (788) Bad night (2449)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

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  (217): he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike. http://tfl.nu/fre7
  Replies (47) Good night (9031) Bad night (1125)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

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  (936): She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while. http://tfl.nu/5c77
  Replies (33) Good night (1339) Bad night (8763)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce

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  (630): She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce http://tfl.nu/xuim
  Replies (32) Good night (4217) Bad night (2008)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song

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  (918): 3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song http://tfl.nu/o6l8
  Replies (6) Good night (2639) Bad night (1197)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.

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  (317): I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend. http://tfl.nu/dbby
  Replies (6) Good night (3239) Bad night (1002)
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  (916): View more from California

  WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.

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  (916): WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN. http://tfl.nu/3mw6
  Replies (8) Good night (3510) Bad night (947)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer

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  (814): Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer http://tfl.nu/nk2m
  Replies (6) Good night (2480) Bad night (920)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well

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  (215): And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well http://tfl.nu/3wlz
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (1800)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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  (801): There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume. http://tfl.nu/bk3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1505) Bad night (875)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.

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  (541): Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer. http://tfl.nu/uwby
  Replies (7) Good night (1034) Bad night (721)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

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  (414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (414)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science

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  (978): Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science http://tfl.nu/dvcx
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (433)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??

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  (574): I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat?? http://tfl.nu/1o4f
  Replies (9) Good night (1409) Bad night (471)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy

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  (541): Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy http://tfl.nu/h95k
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (261)

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