im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
