Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it