I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.