Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.

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  (202): I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas. http://tfl.nu/grxp
  Replies (41) Good night (4710) Bad night (739)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine

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  (816): dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine http://tfl.nu/klxs
  Replies (30) Good night (1226) Bad night (9165)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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  (973): I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick http://tfl.nu/xw1l
  Replies (41) Good night (1255) Bad night (3822)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.

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  (727): i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened. (1-727): shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face. http://tfl.nu/dien
  Replies (13) Good night (4638) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break

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  (301): she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break http://tfl.nu/l0jq
  Replies (19) Good night (5411) Bad night (1320)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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  (724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4
  Replies (13) Good night (3275) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now

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  (702): Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now http://tfl.nu/aoyo
  Replies (22) Good night (4554) Bad night (942)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.

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  (775): You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes. http://tfl.nu/wxud
  Replies (22) Good night (1276) Bad night (5069)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college

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  (847): i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college http://tfl.nu/qor8
  Replies (5) Good night (3716) Bad night (810)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun

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  (315): I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun http://tfl.nu/s1lu
  Replies (3) Good night (1689) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

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  (646): I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly. http://tfl.nu/khhz
  Replies (11) Good night (2228) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.

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  (770): He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons. http://tfl.nu/t6wz
  Replies (9) Good night (602) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.

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  (908): I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping. http://tfl.nu/2e7t
  Replies (18) Good night (981) Bad night (1703)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is

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  (229): I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/c9vw
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start

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  (773): well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start http://tfl.nu/6z20
  Replies (1) Good night (219) Bad night (578)

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