jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.