Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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