so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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