people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
