She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
the raccoons are back...
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