Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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