Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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