It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.