Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms