whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!