wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
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duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night