I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize