Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
