Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love having hate sex.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
