I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
