Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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