That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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