I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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