You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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