1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize