idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
