Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
