Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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