im drinking this country out of the recession.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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