this beer tastes like vomit already
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
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He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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