so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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