I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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