Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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(404): He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic. http://tfl.nu/a5vi

Replies (21) Good night (1068) Bad night (6772)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

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(952): he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/uw0a

Replies (28) Good night (5329) Bad night (807)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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(317): I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers http://tfl.nu/7izq

Replies (31) Good night (5530) Bad night (761)
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(813): View more from Florida

I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

(1-813): View more from Florida

Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

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(813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q

Replies (90) Good night (8177) Bad night (1818)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it was like getting a handjob from robocop

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(412): it was like getting a handjob from robocop http://tfl.nu/4yuu

Replies (15) Good night (1079) Bad night (4184)
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(914): View more from New York

you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.

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(914): you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap. http://tfl.nu/d86b

Replies (10) Good night (1601) Bad night (3448)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.

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(267): This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this. http://tfl.nu/d3gm

Replies (6) Good night (2448) Bad night (861)
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(770): View more from Georgia

One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.

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(770): One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood. http://tfl.nu/oyug

Replies (14) Good night (665) Bad night (2804)
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(713): View more from Texas

I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.

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(713): I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester. http://tfl.nu/tak8

Replies (2) Good night (974) Bad night (1158)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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(985): I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud. http://tfl.nu/94cv

Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (592)
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(707): View more from California

Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket

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(707): Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket http://tfl.nu/p2ny

Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (416)
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(214): View more from Texas

I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.

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(214): I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rah7

Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (548)
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(347): View more from New York

....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....

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(347): ....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat.... http://tfl.nu/8yb6

Replies (4) Good night (384) Bad night (704)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in

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(978): After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in http://tfl.nu/thny

Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (184)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."

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(647): Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club." http://tfl.nu/exip

Replies (4) Good night (314) Bad night (192)

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