How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Can Purell be used as lube?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight