Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

(1-903): View more from Texas

What does that even mean?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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(503): View more from Oregon

He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

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(540): View more from Virginia

About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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(407): View more from Florida

We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner

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