I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he shaved USA in his pubs
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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