she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
