he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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