I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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