I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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