Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
