I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My life is pants optional.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
