Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
