I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
