For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize