bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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