Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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