Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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