It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
